On the 11th of July in 2024, I received a reach out on LinkedIn that would change my life in a way that I still do not comprehend. The message was simple, "Hey Xolisani, I believe you will be a good fit for this role", he then shared a link to the role and a video explaining the day in the life.
What happened before this?
There were offers I received before this and most of them did not materialize, some people reached out and never followed up, while other still we could not come to an agreement. The common thing is in most of these roles I had applied to I was the one responding to the job post, and a handful did the recruiters reach out to me.
The message on the 11th of July came at a time when there was silence, there was not a lot of offers and my hope in the recruitment process was at its lowest. Few weeks later I got an assessment, it was not the first so, I went ahead and completed it. A week later, congratulations you are moving to the next steps and phone screening! I prepared and prepared, hope was restored, perhaps some of these roles are actually opened.
In comes the imposter syndrome.
Having watched the video, and the job spec I was not convinced I was a good fit for the role. It was my first time ever hearing of Cloud Support Engineer. I read blogs, watched videos before you know it I was hooked on the Leadership principles, the data was adding up, the role I knew nothing about three months ago I wanted it, I spend time in the Console, clicking everything ensuring I do not exceed my free-tier limit. I was hooked Learn and be curious had kicked in.
Then came the phone screening interview. I had learned everything about the future and where I was going I forgot to refresh the past and knowledge they were interested in. I did not remember the fundamentals, things I last learned in 2019, Oracle background processes, architecture or Oracle databases, basic things I forgot. I had messed up, lost out on an opportunity.
The interviewer (he will end up as my mentor) left me with an assignment, go review the infrastructure and other concepts, if they ask it in future they will expect depth and details, good luck. Even if I don't get the job, the process revealed my growth arrears. There is a part I left out about the post that gave me hope:
We are interested in the skills you already have and not what you have not been exposed to. If you feel this role is for you apply.
It is like they wanted me to apply, it felt they wanted me in the team even though I felt like I do not belong.
But this part here, go me, it was speaking volumes.
We value work-life harmony. Achieving success at work should never come at the expense of sacrifices at home, which is why we strive for flexibility as part of our working culture. When we feel supported in the workplace and at home, there’s nothing we can’t achieve.
I got the role, its been 2-years since the message
I shared the above to get to something. One of the things you have to accomplish in life is to separate your IDENTITY and VOCATION. I have seen many people treat they roles as they identity and vice versa. That is an identity crisis, I learned this in 2013 when I asked my friend business (though I could also do it myself) to develop a website for my mentoring business, Greatness Ambassadors Mentors and Tutors. This is why you need need friends that pray!
He came back to me, Greatness Ambassadors sounds like a church name, for the mentoring business use Cultivator and this was the birth of Cultivator Mentors and Tutor (NPC). My wife will go on to do further refinements to both Greatness Ambassadors (PTY) and Cultivator Mentors and Tutors (NPC). So what is the difference, my vocation is seasonal I execute tasks and can grow to other vocations, usually this is progressive and you solve specific problems. My identity is what I stand for, its a matter of destiny, its the lens from which I view life, the reason for my existence. There are certain vocations I will not even consider based on my identity and what I know about myself and where I am going.
Now back to Cultivator, what my friend understood about me is teaching is my passion. It is the one things I can do fro free, I don't need a reason to teach, if there is someone willing to learn I am there to teach. The vision I have for Cultivator is to make education free and accessible to all those who need it. If he had not help me separate the two, I was going to leave engineering and become a Math and Science teacher. This would have greatly disadvantaged my ability to deliver various subjects.
Summary.
The recruiter at the time invited me to a vocation, but my identity needed the information I received. There were so many things I asked concerning life, and only once I worked for a truly global company could I fully understand the magnitude of my questions.
I know this is bad for writing, but allow me to add one more fact in the conclusion, I will need it in the future posts. I read a book "Perspectives: Invisible chains", though I do not remember much of the text, but the title stuck with me, and I applied it in many ways, when people offend me, I see the invisible chain when I am bias, invisible chain, arguments invisible chain. I fought less, asked more questions and genuinely wanted to do better.
There is a lot in my heart, and the message I received two years ago has helped me add depth and context to the message I have. So who am I, I am an Ambassador of Greatness, and a Bearer of Christ.
When you have time look up my second name, it has all the clues